The Year of Buyer’s Remorse
Some evenings I’m so bored I just scroll and click my way around the Amazon app. I usually make my way to the “Deals of the Day.” Here I can thumb through alien commodities, things I didn’t even know I could or should buy: “smart” digital scales, flea & tick collars, high thread bed sheets, LED strip lighting. As I sift through the deals, I’m trying to convince myself that I need something. I can buy a slim wallet now or add it to my cart for further consideration. My cart swells with things I forgot I wanted, stuff I “save for later” before making my next purchase.
When Amazon was founded in 1994 it sold books, the idea being that you could buy any book from anywhere and get it delivered fast with the click of a button. The company didn’t turn a profit until 2001. Today it’s one of the most profitable companies in the world and is valued at almost a trillion dollars. Turns out a lot of people want a lot of things and want them delivered fast.
Sometimes I order something and can’t wait the day or two it will take for it to arrive. Even though the app tells me exactly when it will arrive, I spend time between order and delivery checking the app, tracking the little green line that tells me where my package is en route. Other times, I order something and forget I bought it. A generic brown box arrives on my doorstep with its crooked smile. I’m excited to see what’s inside. Oh yeah, that multipurpose screwdriver. I don’t even take it out of the package. It just sits on our kitchen counter for two days before I toss it, unopened, in my tool bag in the basement.
Allison Krueger of The New York Times called 2020 “The Year of Buyer’s Remorse.” She wrote: “While millions of Americans have lost their jobs during the pandemic, consumer spending on goods went up 7.2 percent.... And some of that spending includes items people now regret. Some were meeting basic needs, from canned corn to houses. Others took advantage of big sales to buy clothes they won’t wear this year. And still others bought goods from gadgets to boats they thought would keep them entertained, but are now sitting unused.”
What am I filling my life up with? Why do I feel the need for more things? When will it be enough? Where is the space between desire and regret where contentment resides? These are some of the questions I am trying to answer with my music.
